Is The Situation a Renaissance Man?
Thursday, August 4, 2011
In the new season of “Jersey Shore,” which starts tonight, we have the cast of the show living in Florence, Italy—the motherland of that great cultural movement known as the Renaissance, the very birthplace of modern culture (though not, of course, the birthplace of reality TV). The possibilities for chaos, train wrecks and cultural absurdities, as the creators of the MTV show know, are endless.
But let’s start with the obvious: Mike “The Situation” is a modern-day David. In Michelangelo’s version of the great hero, David is a statuesque, anatomically perfect leader, quietly comfortable in his own physical splendor. In MTV’s version (and indeed in his own estimation), “The Situation” is the physically perfect beach specimen—though “quiet,” of course, he is not.
For many Italian Americans, “Jersey Shore” has perpetuated, if not recreated, stereotypes of Italians as “guidos”—loud, physically impulsive, and vain. (My own feelings on the subject ebb and flow, though I completely understand those who are offended.) So let us re-imagine an alternate scenario for our cast of Italian-Americans (and even those cast members who aren’t Italian are subject to guilt by association)—one in which a trip to Florence becomes a transformative experience, the kind for which the young and impressionable have been “sent abroad” for generations.
Fans of the show know by now that Snooki crashes into a police car while driving through Florence, injuring two of the officers. Let’s liken the horror she experiences to that of the great actress Anna Magnani in “The Rose Tattoo” when she discovers that her late husband had been having an affair. Granted, Magnani is not from Florence, but, to add symmetry, she depicts a Sicilian woman living in Louisiana. Still, there is a fiery nature to Snooki that brings to mind Magnani—not to mention the fact that the small-statured Magnani always tends to find herself in uncomfortable, shall we say, situations.
Next there’s JWoww, who picks up a copy of “The Prince,” Machiavelli’s book of politics and power, and becomes inspired to write a follow-up to her own manifesto of “smush,” “The Rules According to JWOWW: Shore-Tested Secrets On Landing A Mint Guy, Staying Fresh To Death, and Kicking the Competition to the Curb.”
Meanwhile Pauly D, an aspiring DJ (hockey fans may know his “Beat dat Beat,” a victory song for the Washington Capitals), will discover the great Fiorentino pop singer Carlo Buti, known as “the Frank Sinatra of Italy,” and will woo the local ladies with his smooth singing.
Sammi the serial dater breaks open Casanova’s journals written during his time spent in Florence, which further encourages her own pursuits.
And the young Vinny, fresh from Staten Island, experiences his own Stendhal syndrome. While the great writer was overcome with dizziness and a surge in heartbeat while taking in the art and architecture of Florence, Vinny might experience it in a wine bar with non-English-speaking Italian women.
And “The Situation”? He defeats his own Goliath—cultural stereotyping.
But that wouldn’t be nearly as fun, would it?